I think I am ok...

For awhile I've been an emotional rollercoaster. It all goes back to the month of February when I was visiting some friends at Salem State College. The visit was great, just the sad part was my friends jokingly kept bringing up how I was a traitor and left them. They'd laugh, I wouldn't. Felt kind of hurtful, even though I knew they were joking around. Kind of started messing with my mind in that I just got put into this sad state of mind that wouldn't leave me until midway through the month of March.
Come this past Wednesday I was visiting friends again Salem and well those emotions swept back into me and it had such a dramatic effect on me this time that when I talked to my dad about it I broke down in front of him. I just felt like I had no idea where I belonged and I wasn't even sure about if I should commit to staying at Castleton due to missing my friends and the theatre program at Salem. Eventually I took advice from my dad, mom, and my friend Maggie and just sat down and made a list of the pros and cons about each place. Eventually I came to the conclusion that my emotional conflict just was me missing my friends and finally coming to the conclusion that, well, you can't always get what you want (oddly enough I was listening to The Rolling Stones when that thought came into mind). I like where I am. I may miss that Salem State Life (reference to song parody done for Brycemas that I saw), but I made my decision and I should be happy where I am. I have opportunity here, minus the opportunity that is one would get from being in Salem and being able to go into Boston and get to do theatre as an internship. Damn I hate not having a car, but that's beside the point. The point is I know where I want to stay and if at all I decide that I just can't stay here no more then well I'll go back to Salem. It's a confusing time, but at least for now I know what I want to do, and that's all that matters.

In acting 1 today...

I was grabbed by three to four girls and lifted off the ground.
Now there's something you don't see everyday.

Off to my radio show :)

Don't mean to turn this into an emo livejournal account...

But lately I just feel like I'm out of it, almost like I'm stuck in this zoning out zone. I'm not sure where I belong at the moment. Just feel like I don't belong anywhere here on campus. That and it doesn't help when I go home and see friends from my old school because I will start to have that same feeling once again of just not belonging. This has been plaguing my mind since last Saturday when I went to visit some friends for the day. Throughout the day I just felt displaced when it came to hearing things that I've been missing out on since I left Salem and all these new people that I met for the first time. Makes me wonder if I made the right decision to leave, even though in my heart I know I made the right decision. Wanted a better education and I wanted to go out of state, but now looking at it I wonder if it truly was worth the risk to leave those whom I miss so much behind. It's hard up here. I really don't have any close friends. I just have acquaintances and I do have friends, but they aren't the close ones like the ones I have back in MA. I don't know, maybe I'm just overreacting, but I can't help it. Have yet to meet anyone like M, J, or B (don't feel like typing their full names out, just because I'm weird like that) at Castleton. I'd like to meet people like them, I hope I do.

A good day in Salem.

Today I had quite a good day. I made the trek down towards Salem, MA and visited some good friends, mainly Brendan, Maggie, and Jackie, but I also met Jason, Alex, and Cori. Let's see, how it started....
I left my house today at 10am to get to Salem. The car ride proved to be mellow and sort of annoying as the windows kept fogging up and my front windshield kept getting icy and foggy and obscuring my vision so trying to get it clean became a hassle. On the way there I listened to Flogging Molly's first album "Swagger" which helped to pass the time.
When I got into Salem and drove up to Central Campus I gave Maggie a wake up call then called Brendan up and met him at his dorm. Played Guitar Hero 3 for a bit before we headed off to Central to meet up with Maggie and Jackie. Surprising Rosie came out of nowhere and gave me a big hug, which was awesome. Haven't seen her in so long just felt so good to see her and talk to her for a brief bit. After I talked to her for a bit I gave her a hug and I followed Maggie, Jackie, and Brendan up to Maggie & Jackie's dorm where we talked for a bit about this musical idea the two of them have that I hope to be updated on.
After being in the dorm we went to multiple places. Went to the diner across the street from Central then to the North Shore Mall, the Borders, then back to Bates and watched MirrorMask. After that we all decided to go and get food and when I left everyone was watching Thank You For Smoking, a very good film might I add.
And thus was my wonderful day in Salem. I'm already missing being with them. Just wish that somedays I could close my eyes when I'm in my dorm at Castleton and BAM! they would appear right in front of me, but alas that is not to be. Well, I shall make sure to see them in April during my spring break.